I Am Under Here Somewhere

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As a woman I wear many hats.
At some point in my life I will be called mother, sister, aunt, wife even caregiver.
As a woman my work is never done.
Daily my life is filled with cooking, cleaning, ironing, folding, doctor's visits, league games and cub scouts activities.
Life has taught me that as a woman I have a list of duties that never end but go on and on.
As women, we often lose ourselves within the roles that we play.
We go through life on autopilot losing ourselves with every step that we take.
It is sad but our own lives, our own needs take a back burner.
This bothers us but we dare not voice it for fear of hurting or disappointing others.
In the middle of the night as we sit and wipe tears and muffle our silent cries.
I have become so accustomed to hiding my feeling but I often ask myself "Where am I in all this mess?" Who would have that living life as a woman could be so confusing and so painful.
Growing up we go through life and it does not appear to be so complicated.
We are oblivious to what life has in store for us.
We are trained from birth to keep our hair done, our nails done and to be neat in appearance not knowing that there will be little to no time in our future lives.
It took a long time for this hard reality to set in for me.
Like many other women life has taught me to give up my "I" for a "we.
" Along with my "I" went my "Me" time, my hobbies, my favorite perfume and designer things.
Daily life has taught me that a woman's job is not to live but exist.
Yet I can constantly hear that echo in my mind saying that "There has to be more to life than this.
There has to be an end to this madness that I seem to call life.
Will I ever go from existing to the living? My life is a mess! Where am I in this mess?" As women we must take a stand and be ready for change! We have to move beyond our gender, beyond our titles, beyond the roles and expectations that people have placed upon us.
We are living, breathing, loving and caring souls.
We are women and we too deserve to live.
It is time that we start dreaming again and strive to reach them.
It is time that we start loving ourselves and get to know who we are again.
I invite you to join me as I strive to find myself in this mess that I once called life and begin to live again.
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