How Long To Wait Before Having Sex

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So you've just met this great guy and you're both attracted to each other and can't wait until the next time you'll be together but in the back of your mind you're just not sure how long you should wait to have sex with him. You want him to carry on being attracted to you and to date you so don't want to seem a prude but if you sleep together and then he lets you down you know you'll be devastated.
So, what the answer here?
Well, if you're looking for a long term partner there really is nothing to gain from having sex very early on. There is a whole lot to lose though and here's why:
You see men want to feel as though they're winning you. They want to win something that cannot be won easily because this also says you must be valuable. So when you make yourself a woman worthy of the chase he'll be intoxicated by you and want you even more. If you're worried that he'll not want to wait then put this thought completely to one side. ANY man worthy of you WILL wait and will not push you further or faster than you're ready to go so waiting can be a great way to weed out the good guys from the not so good ones!
At the end of the day it's often the woman who loses once sex has come into the equation because our emotions are heightened both during and after sex. We then start to fantsize about where the realtionship is going and over analyse every situation and become so emotionally invested in this new man that we lose ourselves and this is where the man can often see us as 'needy'. It's a dangerous time and one that can make or break a relationship in the early stages.
It's important for you to get to know this man BEFORE you become to emotionally involved. You want to know if this guy is a good match for you. Is he someone you can see yourself with long term?
When you have sex together what is it that you're really looking for deep down?
Are you seeking to love and be loved?
Are you seeking security and reassurance?
The clearer you can be on what it is you're looking for in this new man BEFORE you have sex together the easier it will be for you to manage what comes up.
But can me be hurt emotionally as well?
Of course, and they do all the time. Sometimes men go into new relationships far too easily with similar emotional desires to women. They too want to find a good long term partner. Somene they can love and be loved by. Someone they can trust and who'll be loyal but yes, they can also have sex early on without as much emotional investment as a woman. They take a little longer to catch up and this is where things can fall apart because while you're seeking reassurance from him, he may not be ready to give it.
So to end this article I want to reitterate that you really have nothing to gain from sleeping with someone early on and everything to lose.
Spend enough non sexual time time getting to know each other until you feel this person really 'gets' who you are. You should know that they are who they say they are and you should have a range of topics and values that are cmmon for you both. This can only come from talking and spending time together.
During this time remember to show a man you're worthy of 'the chase' and trust that if he's the right one for you he'll be there when the time feels right.
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By Sharon Vickery Author of 'The Secrets To Finding & Keeping An Amazing Man' Get your copy here:
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